Why Parrots are Superior to Dogs

• Show me a dog that can fly.
• Parrots don't chase the mailman, or bicycles, or other people's dogs.
• Dogs usually hate their kennels, but birds willingly go back into their cages after they've been out for a while.
• Birds don't smell as bad as dogs do.
• Most dogs don't care about music, and the ones that do demonstrate the fact by howling off key. Birds, on the other hand, almost all appreciate music, and they also have a sense of pitch.
• Large parrots (such as macaws or cockatoos) can destroy pretty much anything they want to destroy in 5 seconds. It usually takes a dog at least 15.
• Even the meanest bird won't maul the neighbor's kids, unless you count removing a couple of fingers as mauling.
• Who needs a hole-punch if you have a parrot handy?
• Birds like to hang out up high. High = closer to heaven = closer to God. Therefore birds are more godly than dogs.
• You don't have to walk a bird.
• Parrots speak pirate and can translate for you if your ship is captured and you need to negotiate ransom.
• Dogs shed and leave dog hair all over the place. Birds leave feathers, which are much easier to clean up and can be used for crafts.
• Parrots can do all the same tricks as dogs, and it looks way cooler when a bird does it.
• If you're at war with your neighbors, parrots make excellent aerial surveillance units.
• They also freak everyone out at Halloween if dressed up as vampire bats.
• Carrying a yap-dog around with you all the time says "OMG I <3 to imitate celebrities and spoil my dog *squee*." Carrying an equal-size parrot around with you all the time says, "Animals <3 me and I am way cooler than you n00bs."
• Birds won't slobber all over everything.
• Or throw up on your carpet.
• Or do embarassing things to guests.
• Or get involved with skunks.
• And they're just more all-around awesome :)